When we got back to the room, I immediately did skin to skin with Parker and tried to breast feed him. All of my classes said that it was crucial for you to try to breast feed the baby when they are alert right after birth because soon after they go into a deep slumber for 12-48 hours. From try #1 Parker just did not like breast feeding. He would latch on and try for a few minutes and then just cry and cry and cry. The nurses kept telling me to keep trying, but I had the feeling that he was just HUNGRY and not getting anything. We kept trying and to this day, I have NO CLUE, whether he actually got any nourishment, but sure enough, the slumber time hit and he was out cold. Every time that I tried to wake him up to breast feed, he stayed sound asleep. The nurses told me to undress him and get him "really uncomfortable" to wake him up so that I could feed him. (Now I know my little fellow's personality, temper and all, and waking him up by making him uncomfortable was my first mistake).
Needless to say, hours had passed and Parker still had not eaten much if anything (we are still not sure after being empty on food and water, if I had anything to give at all). Then the slumber ended and took patience along with it. Parker woke from his slumber and he was HUNGRY. I tried breast feeding him on both sides. he would latch on and try for awhile and then scream and scream and scream. I had every nurse in the entire place try to help me, but each said "he just needs to learn." Well in the mean time, I had a HUNGRY little man screaming for food. At one point he tried for over 45 minutes and afterwards just screamed. I believe at this point I SHOULD have realized that he was not getting what he needed.
The nights were the worst, because the night nurses were very insensitive and unhelpful. Many times Parker would be screaming and I had been waiting on a nurse to come in and help for 15-20 minutes or more.
I tried to breast feed him all day Saturday and Sunday and he was getting more and more upset. It got to the point that I would bring him near my chest and he would not even try to latch on anymore, he would immediately begin screaming. I truly believe that the poor little fella was SO hungry and I had nothing to give him, so he learned that sucking was not getting him anything and he was as frustrated as mommy was.
The last night (Sunday) the nurse measured his weight and told me that he had lost 8% of his weight and that if he hit 10% weight loss they would not let us leave the next day. After hours of him crying and me crying and no one sleeping, we finally gave the nurse the okay to give him formula (the nurse had been pushing formula since the beginning of her shift - she was not helpful at all and had zero patience with us or Parker).
I really wanted to breast feed, but things were not looking good, so the Monday day shift nurse gave me a syringe to manually feed him with, so that he did not get nipple confusion from a bottle. Chad and I did that the next two nights (fed him in a syringe with formula or the LITTLE milk that I could pump - this was indeed proof that he was not getting anything, I would pump for 30 mins and get a combined 1.5 oz. The problem was that the syringe method took 2 people and also took FOREVER. We were basically up all night long and Chad was going to have to go back to school and work - so no sleep was not an option.
After 2 days of crying all night in the hospital and 2 days of crying all night at home and still no successful breast feeding (at this point Parker would scream the minute I put him up to my chest and would not even TRY to latch on), I decided to move on. I called my sister-in-law Jessi and also my sister-in-law Katie and talked to both of them about options. I finally decided to pump 100% and feed Parker using a slow flow newborn bottle.
It was a very hard decision for me and even a few days after, I tried to get Parker to breast feed (once he was not starving anymore) with no success. I really wanted to breast feed. It was the "natural" way. It is what women are supposed to do. Luckily, my mom was in town and told me that each of her kids were different. Some breastfed naturally, others just would not and with each kid she had to decide how to handle it. Then she informed me that I was not breast fed. That I was too difficult and would not latch on. I also talked to Jessi who had to do different things for each of her kids as well. After talking to them and several more people, I realized that I was not the ONLY person that had trouble breastfeeding and that it was OK.
Honestly, now I look at it as a blessing. I LOVE pumping. It is a lot of extra work, but during the day, I can go to the store and give Parker a bottle if he gets hungry. I can plan and organize my pumping schedule, something you cannot do with a baby's eating schedule. Lastly, other people can feed and watch Parker, which gives me a break and some independence.
Below are some pictures of Parker at the hospital. The next post will include pictures of Parker at home. Stay tuned :)
![]() |
| Parker RIGHT after birth |
![]() |
| Mommy and Parker |
![]() |
| Dad and Parker watching the BYU game |
![]() |
| Right before leaving the hospital |
.jpg)
.jpg)

.jpg)